Thoughts On Easter Symbolism And How It Messes With My Motivation.

Hello all!

Today’s blog post is actually about a thought I had on the day I decided to start this blog on the Tuesday after Easter. Sorry it’s so late! 😦

So, this Easter, I decided I was going to ration my chocolate eggs as motivation to write my script for Script Frenzy (a 100 pages of a script in 30 days challenge), one easter egg for every 10 pages written, a big egg for reaching the 50 pages mark and a chocolate bunny for reaching 100 pages (and a bottle of apple cider ;)). I did this during Script Frenzy last year and the year before (minus the bottle of apple cider, yay for being old enough to drink now) and it worked well, hence my decision to do it again this year.

That decision lasted all of a few days.

So where did I go wrong? Where did my self control go? Why could I do it the previous two years but not this year?

I’m sure some of you asked those questions while reading that. So here’s the answer:

The holiday no longer held the same meaning for me as it did the previous two years.

Confused? I would be too if I were you. “What does that have to do with anything?” You may be asking.

Let me explain:

Until a few months before my birthday last year, I attended church regularly and so holidays such as Christmas and Easter held special significance for me. However, for a while before I stopped, I began to do research on Paganism and realised that it resonated better with me than Christianity. Which is the main reason why I stopped attending church. It just didn’t feel right to me anymore. Too many conflicting beliefs.

Of course, leaving this behind meant that the way I view these public holidays changed.

Easter was a day of remembering that Jesus rose from the dead for me. Now that I’ve left the church behind, the other aspects of public holidays come to the front of my mind. Public holidays are lonely. Everyone is spending time with their family. No one is really up for doing anything much, which makes me sad :(. Pretty much nothing is open on a public holiday. There is so much emphasis on public holidays being family time. And I personally, at this stage in my life, don’t like that. I see my family enough as it is on normal days, without being forced to spend more time with them.

(Please note that I don’t have a problem with anyone enjoying the family aspect of public holidays. This is just my point of view at present. I’m sure my P.O.V will change when I have my own family 😉 Or not. Only time will tell).

But anyway, back to what I was saying…

The Easter chocolate used to be a reminder of the Christian meaning behind the holiday for me in previous years. That Jesus loves us and died for our sins and rose again. But now it’s a reminder of the loneliness and sadness.

And really, who wants to be rewarded with feelings of loneliness and sadness while writing a script? That wouldn’t do much for the motivation would it? It sure didn’t do anything for mine. In fact, I ended up not writing nothing to avoid thinking about it.

Which is why I threw my self control aside and ate all that chocolate. And when I finished it all, I smiled, then opened my script and after a few minutes found the motivation to start writing again.

Thank goodness I have Capoeira and Brazilian dance classes I can go to every week (that was a lot of chocolate to eat in the space of a few days)… 😉

Until next time,

The Nocturnal Philosopher 🙂

By the way, I may have eaten all the chocolate, but I still plan to have that cider when I reach 100 pages. Cider symbolises freedom and is a nice reminder of my 18th birthday last year (actually, in that case, maybe champagne, sangria and cocktails would be a better idea… ;))

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~ by thenocturnalphilosopher on 12/04/2012.

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